The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn
The darkest hour is just before the dawn. A time so dark, you believe the dawn will never arrive, a time of deepest despair. Coping with family illness and impending bereavement is never easy. A situation made worse by a business partner’s fraud. His betrayal destroyed a business that I spent four years building. Many of those who suffered as result of that collapsed business directed their anger at me. I received everything from mild abuse to death threats.
The Darkest Thunder Clouds
Despite the ongoing abuse and threats, I believed the dawn light would fill my mind and illuminate my dark mood. Another setback soon followed, as if the darkest thunderclouds rolled in and throttled any glimmer of hope. My business partner and friend confessed his crime to the police. Although he stated that he alone committed the fraud, the police thought otherwise. Fortunately, I kept a diary; minutes of meetings; emails and financial dealings for which I was responsible. To this day, I have those records. The police sergeant responsible for overseeing the investigation and recovery of missing funds decided that I had no case to answer. This ought to have improved my mood but failed to do so.
The Darkest Tempest
The blackness grew and the pressure built, filling my mind with an oppressive spirit. Consequently, a tempest exploded in my head as flashes of murderous anger filled my thoughts and self-destructive thunder smashed into the inside of skull. Like a tornado, questions spun around and attacked me from all sides. Finally, the most searching question hit me, was I angry enough to want to kill my former friend? Maybe I would like the answer or maybe not.
Eye Of The Storm
The eye of the storm settled over me. The resulting sudden calm gave me time to reflect on the pernicious questions. A more subtle form of the ultimate question lingered in the still air; could I forgive anyone any sin no matter how heinous? Because of the terrorising storm, swirling around the eye I feared to answer. Hence, I fudged the answer, ‘I don’t know maybe with time I could’. A new more direct form of the question emanated from the storm. ‘You are driving at 40 mph and your former business partner steps off the pavement in front of your vehicle. Would you brake or take other action to avoid hitting him?’ I did not like the answer.
The Destructive Vortex
Vexatious rationale summoned the destructive vortex at the edge of storm’s eye. Above all, I used it to smash any sane thoughts and subdue the horror of my answer. Sanity is a fragile thing; hence, it can be broken any time. No matter how repugnant the idea, everybody is capable of murder. All you need to motivate you to such evil is the convergence of circumstances. Murder only takes a second; for that reason, pray that moment never arises.
Creative Spark
The vortex passed, yet the skies remained dark. Lightning provided sporadic illumination as it streaked across the sky. The storm held no fear for my exhausted mind. While Thor roared, his thunderbolts lit a creative spark within me and provided the inspiration to write my first novel, Roads of Destiny – The First Chronicle of Gaia.
Therapeutic Calm
Roads of Destiny started out as dark tale of hate and vengeance born of pure love. The book became so much more than just dark tale. The story asks the reader many challenging questions. Among them, ‘could you forgive anyone any sin, no matter how heinous?’ Hence, for me writing the book provided a dawn of therapeutic calm. Asking the question of others enabled me to answer the question for myself, without being angry or disappointed with my answer.
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